Anything you do communicates something. In other words – one cannot not communicate. When effective communication comes up in conversation, sometime along the way it will be paired with charisma. From Greek – charisma means the “gift of grace”. Today term “charisma” means charm, chic, amazing glimmer in the eye which makes us staggered with delight over social competency of person blessed with this almost magical skill.
Put out value
Charisma is not magical for sure. Some people developed this deep understanding of social situations through their youth and adolescence naturally. We tend to gravitate to them. Some though can learn it on demand.
One of the most important principles, key things to understand in day to day charisma is that social interactions are more like marathon than a sprint. You want to create a lifelong relationships more than close the deal immediately. That changes whole dynamic. To build such rapport you have to bring value to people whom you interact. Make it about them. Invest and be interested genuinely. Value can come in various ways, but listening and sharing are your best bets as keywords.
Restrain the “closing move” as long as you can afford it, put out more and more value. Either it is entertainment, listening skills, being overall interested and invested in conversation, genuine compliment, sharing insights, soundbites or sources. But! When it’s time to close – just do it. Don’t conceal your agenda, clear your move from bullshit.
Look, it is not that I want you to be altruistic. The opposite. We are social animals exactly because relationship leverage our survival. Build your equity of relationships as long as you can. Those are meant to pay off greatly in long term. So investing time and effort is a lot of hustle. And you have to be patient. This is the difference between being charming and obnoxious and/or coming across as false – the agenda of building relationship vs. the itch to close the deal as soon as possible. Stick to value sharing and building your social equity and rewards will be great. Charming and steady wins the race.